Good to do some artwork...

...and good to rest afterwards :). Part of what's nice about this studio space is the chance to be alone...! Getting wifi doesn't hurt either ;D

Music to investigate:
- Sarah Harmer -
    - songs: Oh Susannah - Look for me, I'll be around (I'll be home soon)
- Todd Snider: I think I'm an alright guy (for mom)

Darrell Sanders -
Béla Fleck -
April Verch -
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WSW #21 with Christina Rasmussen

Many women choose the roles & things they need to do because they feel they have to; to protect or care for others. You need to think about what you need first.

Working to make your dreams come true isn't going to be a walk in the park; it'll be hard work, but you have to choose yourself, choose to rest, pursue hobbies you love, pursue your passions. Do some work for yourself, some for others.

It helps to create structure around your passion-work, to commit to it, to respect yourself and what you need.

You can choose anything you want to do, and make it happen; literally anything is possible.

Setting boundaries, saying no - it brings discomfort, you want to be there for people, it's not easy; but you get used to that discomfort, it's okay. They may not like you for it, but you'll like yourself.
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Women and Indigenous Religions / Sylvia Marcos, 2010

Indigenous religious traditions are mainly oral traditions. Texts, even if they exist, are not at the core of their belief structure. If we try to systematize the religions that are transmitted through oral traditions with the methods used for systematizing religions rooted in textual traditions, we will distort and misinterpret them.
Historical and textual methods presuppose a fixed narrative as a basis for analysis. Oral traditions are fl uid, fl exible, and malleable. The subtle shifting and changing of words, metaphors, and meanings easily slip through the “text” cast by historical and textual analysis. New methods are needed to capture a tradition that is in continuous change.

Typical methods used in oral storytelling:
- the use of redundancy as a means for the re- membering of traditions
- the metaphoric use of parallelism
- the formulaic structure of songs and stories
- the power of words and utterances that call reality into being
- the indissociability of myth and history

It is especially in religions that depend on oral performance and rituality for their permanence and transmission that women play a prominent role. They preside over rituals, preserve but also re-create traditions.

Ngarrindjeri - Australian aboriginals
miminar - women
ngatji - totems
    friend, protector; spirit who teaches you, guide. In their example, one woman had the pelican as her ngatji.
miwi - inner spirit
ruwi - country
Everything has a story, but not everyone knows every story. Nor does everyone have the right to hear every story, or having heard it, to repeat the words.
There are some things that I want to keep private; there are some things Collin and I have different views on; I think spirituality is one of them.

To read - chapter 10 - Drawing the Connections: Mayan Women’s Quest for a Gendered Spirituality

Ten years ago, I was...

seventeen. Dreaming about being a musician; dreaming about some boy :) wondering if I'll ever have a boyrfriend; walking to & from high school by the fields, saying hi to the horses. Reading fantasy.

And looking back at my very first LJ posts, wondering/worrying about the future! I wrote those first sentences before looking back; funny how I don't think really remember those things. I was so practical :P and yet also very silly, looking at that first post :). Thank god I have Collin to keep me silly, I could turn into a very boring person if I let my practical side take over too much! lol.

Oh god, this poem I wrote about Chris telling me he had feelings for me at Matt's cabin < / 3
I wrote it as a public post, but I see now it's private - maybe I wasn't as ready to share as I thought I was (or later changed my mind, probably).

And this one after we first met Kristina :) the description still fits I'd say! lol

Going to continue reminiscing & update as I go I think...

Ok, this pep-talk is great too :)

This is a nice little collection of memories - I'll have to ask Matt what the cement-block-head-thing was...?
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More on femininity
Dare to be feminine - Kaouthar Darmoni (beautiful french accent :) and great dance moves)

She grew up in northern africa, Tunisia; the women would get together, away from the male gaze, and dance. That sounds fantastic! I love dancing, even feeling sexy when I dance, but that doesn't mean I necessarily want men looking at me while I do - or anyone for that matter.

The idea of seeing femininity as a threat, as a disturbance - we absolutely have that here too, even if we draw the line at a different spot from places where women have to wear the veil
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WSW #15 - Attitude, Adornment, and Self-Expression

Embracing being a woman - finding pleasure; tapping into your radiance, getting in touch with your senses, with what feels good; allowing that beauty to shine forth

Adornment - show your beauty, be gorgeous
- if you have a message to get across, a movement to start - access your star power! people pay attention when you're radiant
- clothing can make you feel like a million bucks, can get people's attention

meaningful jewelry - reminding you of a time, place, feeling; a book you've read

when you dress well, you can inspire other women to do the same, to show up bright & shiny :)

put your shoulders back - be open in your power, confidence, and your heart's center
your body is art!

as women, we compare ourselves - compare our bodies, our wounds (I havent had to go through that, I should be thankful, shouldnt hurt so much over my comparably smaller challenges); but there is no hierarchy of pain. pain is so relative.

if youre ready for growth, put it out there into the universe, and pay attention, be receptive, wait for it; the tools you need will come.

unleash your wild soul, and channel that power into your work; let it be from that wild, expressed place. find your place of pleasure and channel it.

go take a class that scares you - something creative, like improv, art-making, dance, music
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WSW #5 - Be A Loving Master of Your Energy

The feminine is receptive

Being a soft place to land: letting your gaze be receptive, rather than intrusive; people feel heard and understood rather than judged. To drink someone in; it's healing for them.
- analogous with the softness of the female body; we can give soft hugs :)

- Just because you have it to give, doesn't mean you have to give it.
- There can be so much joy in giving, that you end up giving what you needed to keep for yourself
- What you give can be used against you
- After offering what you have to give, do you walk away feeling full and whole? Or do you feel wounded, leaking, exhausted? Either you've given what you didn't have to give, or that person is using it against you energetically.

Egg Meditation
- Feet flat on the ground, nothing crossed
- Close your eyes
- Take three deep breaths right into your heart's center
- Imagine a spot six inches below where you are into the earth; if you're on an upper floor, go down all the way to the earth below the building. That's your energetic connection to the earth; your Earth Star.
- Take a few breaths and activate your earth star.
- From your earth star, drop a grounding cord all the way to the center of the Earth; imagine energy dropping down
- From the center of the earth, take three breaths up that grounding cord, up through your pelvis, your solar plexis, into your heart; and back down again.
- Take a breath from the center of the Earth up to your heart, and hold it in your heart; exhale up out the top of your head, imagine the energy going up and spreading wide open, showering around you like a fountain, until you're sitting in this egg-shape. The energy goes back into your earth star, and when you breathe in you breathe it back up again.
- Add this prayer: May only love and what's in my highest good be able to penetrate in; and may only what's in people's highest good be able to go out.
- If you're holding energy that shouldn't be released, your energy can clean and purify that, like a perfect recycling system.

Sometimes you need to turn off; it's better to make a conscious decision to turn off, i.e. watch some TV, read an escapist book.

Learning ayurveda was the most helpful thing for her for learning about self-care, and catching herself when she's going out of whack

Three basic ways people respond to stress:
- Spinning, anxious, worried; IBS, constipation, losing sleep
- Angry, irritated; inflamed; critical, judgmental
- Depression, lethargy, heavy

Once you figure out how you're responding, you use the tools to bring yourself back to center

The five love languages / gary chapman
- gift giving
- words of acknowledgement
- physical touch
- quality time spent
- acts of service

- people give & receive love in many different ways!

Learning sensual movement was the most important thing she did in liberating herself

WSW #7 - Own Your Singular Truth

Going within; cultivating this sense of dropping into your heart, that mystical space; really listening to the voice of your soul, your truth.

The body as sacred, as your soul; when you see it this way, you can be present more often

The more you're in the real and true core of yourself, the more you want and need to be there; not answering to other people in ways that drain you, and makes you feel like you're caring for other people's egos at the expense of your own soul; which is a hazardous thing to do.

Soul Voice Meditation:
Wherever you are, when you need it, check within; go within, ask a question of your soul; connect with your inner self; ask for your soul to feed you, speak to you
Ask your soul-voice: What do I need most?
You can choose certain activities in your everyday routine to be triggers to do this; to check within yourself.

Look at yourself in a mirror, up close; first you'll see your body, but the longer you stay with it you'll see the presence behind your eyes

Ways to anchor into your body, to become intimate with your soul, to allow it to become your beloved; the thing in your life of which you are most loyal and most faithful.

Sexual energy exists within us at all times; our sexual power doesn't have to be in relation to a partner. We can activate it, cultivate it, build it, whether we're with a partner or not.

Untame the Wild Woman Soul #13: Untamed You

Womanhood - the freedom to be mysterious, volatile
Learning how to be a powerful woman, yet not emasculate the man in your life
- allow for some vulnerability and softness

For any relationship that has some friction; what is it triggering in you?
- How can you own it as lovingly as possible, and just acknowledge that it's hard?
- Both people have to own their triggers to move forward; not just blame the other, point out things they need to change

How do you find your own blind spots?
- coaching

There is no finish line; we just understand our path better, navigate it better

Untaming yourself = being who you really are, not who you've trained yourself to be; not fitting into a preconceived notion of "wild", just really being authentic
- working with labels, seeing where they influence you, deciding what's really you